30 sounds a Little too Dramatic ...

 

Watching a FRIENDS episode where Joey turns 30 and exclaims, "Why, God? Why? We had a deal! Let the others grow old, not me!" always brought laughter, and I used to think, "What's the big deal about turning 30?" until today.

It's 1:31 am, and the joke's on me. I'm actually asking, "Why, God, why? Couldn't you wait a little longer? We had a deal! By 30, I was supposed to be an independent and content woman with savings and investments, a flourishing career, and well-traveled.

 30th 😂

Have I achieved any of that?

I've been reflecting, and I'm not sure if I am what I aspired to be by 30. For the past few months, I've had this eerie feeling during the wee hours. I think to myself:

I have a good-paying job, yet I'm always broke. No savings and investments.

I have the career I always wanted, yet I'm not content.

I am independent, yet I am lonely.

I want to get married, yet I am afraid of attachment.

I relish being alone, yet I think about my 40s and fear the loneliness of old age.

And I fear the regret of "what ifs."

Maybe, this is what they call a mid-life crisis. I am inundated with these rattling introspections, feeling like I'm drowning and looking for a life jacket.

Should I be doing something different?

Should I be achieving more?

Should I take a different trajectory?

Am I doing enough?

I have questions to which I don't have answers for now.

As the title suggests, I think I am making 30 a little too dramatic. I sound a bit too ungrateful for everything I've worked and achieved so far.

Of course, I am thankful for good health, an affectionate family, and reliable friends. Watching my parents grow old is sad and worrisome, but I am happy that I get to share their responsibilities in whatever small ways I can. Caring for my two brothers and seeing them metamorphose into adults gives me immense joy and happiness. Certainly, I have a few friends whom I can trust and depend on in times of need. So maybe, in these aspects, I win, and I can say I have a supportive village.

Family

And yes, on the professional front, I am indebted to the opportunities I have been bestowed. In particular, this semester stands out as I got a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to present in front of His Majesty the King. It was surreal. I was fortunate to share my personal journey of transformation from the world of the English Language, a domain I hold dear to my heart, to the dynamic universe of User Experience design. Through this experience, I learned that if you put all your heart and soul into something, there is nothing you cannot conquer. Furthermore, His Majesty's speech during the event further solidified my decision to stay in the country and serve with professionalism, loyalty, and trust.

Grateful🙏🙏🙏

I believe if you work on something passionately, the universe conspires to help you achieve it.

Getting to interact with young minds every semester is exhilarating. More than teaching them, I get to learn and stay abreast of the changing phenomena. Teaching is a lifelong learning process, and I believe only in our profession do we get to stay relevant and current.

Research Presentation- 3rd Year students

I embrace every adversity and challenge I face to reach here. Without those trials and tribulations, I would not have found my landing. And I know there are lots of unanswered questions, and there will be these constant feelings of missing out on something somewhere. I can't help it, but I sure will work to find all the answers.

 

Feeling Young

C'mon, I am 30 and alive. Maneuvered three decades on Earth with grit and resilience. Let's live for another 30 years. 

                                         Cheers!

You only Live Once!!!